Spiderman, Little Miss Iron America and the Insane
by FoxQuill
Summary: Spiderman, his private life and someone who has serious issues like damn son. [trans spiderman - don't like it, don't read it]
As always, Peter has to keep reminding himself not to wave at the people he had known since he was three years old. He forces his eyes to slide over familiar faces as if he had never seen them before—not that they could tell with his mask on, but still. Behind Janet-from-Accounts, however, is an unfamiliar figure. Well, Peter knows who he is, he's just never met him before. The red and black suit is a bit of a giveaway. Peter tries to carry on walking down the corridor to get to Phil's office, but Deadpool wolf whistles and snags him.

"Hey Spidey, been wondering when you were going to turn up."

"Deadpool, hi." A few beats pass. "Could you put me down please?"

Deadpool drops Peter back onto his feet, and Peter tries to regain his balance without grabbing at the mercenary. He almost succeeds. A knock from another agent, however, kicks him off again, and he grabs at Deadpool's arms to steady himself. Deadpool looks down at him, and Peter thinks he can see a smirk under the mask, and then the man says he'll see Peter around, and disappears. Peter blinks and wonders why stuff like this always seems to happen to him.

He continues to his intended destination, a modern, cool and airy office owned by Phil Coulson. Phil Coulson is a neat and organised man, a good friend of Peter's father, and a reluctant friend of his Dad. Phil Coulson is also Spiderman's handler, which means Peter has to spend a lot of time around him, filling and filing paperwork. Phil Coulson is not aware of the fact that Peter is Spiderman.

His ignorance is probably due to the fact that he knows Tony Stark and Steve Rogers' daughter, Pepper. Peter hates the name. So he goes out at night, binding wrapped tightly around his chest and blue and red suit on, instead of telling his family because that's what Starks do: they avoid and distract and build themselves superhero disguises. Peter hasn't resorted to the alcohol and drug filled haze of sex yet. He likes to think he's ruled that one out.

Nevertheless, Peter is always antsy when he's around his makeshift family as Spiderman—which is probably how he got the reputation for being a hyperactive kid who can't stay still at all—and he finds paperwork duty particularly difficult. Luckily, Phil puts it down to paperwork-induced boredom (a common malady among S.H.I.E.L.D. field agents) and Coulson-induced intimidation (another common affliction, but not one that Peter is generally a victim of). This particular trip to what Peter likes to think of as the head teacher's office is the result of an altercation between Spiderman and a couple of thieves last night. Peter had got them tied up and ready for S.H.I.E.L.D. in a matter of minutes, but one of them had managed to nick his leg with a knife slightly, so paperwork it was. Peter rolled his eyes heavily behind his mask, and Phil glared at him, because Phil; was a super-scary-spy who could see dissent through solid steel walls, let alone thin spandex masks. As Peter was filling in **Assessment of any equipment requiring replacement** , Phil's phone buzzed on the desk, and he picked it up, moving into the next room to take the call. IT was a good idea that would have made it a private conversation, but Peter immediately dropped his work and crept closer to the closed door, using his enhanced hearing to listen in through the solid wood.

"…Pepper, no, I haven't seen her. She hasn't been around here since last Wednesday. If she said she was going to MJ's last night, she's probably still over there. She's eighteen, she can handle herself."

Peter smirked and sat back down at his paperwork. At least he had Uncle Phil to stand up for him. Phil would probably stand up for Peter and Spiderman, too, but there was still a tiny part of Peter's brain that whispered mean things like 'but what if he doesn't'. That was assuming that Phil didn't already know which, realistically, was most likely the case, but Peter liked avoiding unsettling thoughts like that as much as he could.

Phil returned just as Peter was finishing the last sentence of **Assessment of injuries to perpetrators** and Peter finished crossing the last 't' with a flourish.

"Can I go now?"

Phil sighed, but motioned towards the door, and Peter shot out of the room and down the corridors to the elevator. He tapped impatiently while the elevator was moving tediously slow, then darted out of it as soon as the gap between the doors was wide enough, startling a couple of lower-level agents who were waiting. As soon as he was out on the street, he slung a shot of webbing at the nearest roof and swung upwards, racing across town with a mix of swinging and jumping across rooftops. Eventually he jumped off one last house, and rang the doorbell.

The girl who answered the door was taller than Spiderman. She had short red hair and sparkling brown eyes, and she took one look at Spiderman and dragged him inside. She was known to most people as MJ, or Mary-Jane, but Peter was the only one outside of her family who knew her real name.

"MoJo, my best buddy. I have been gone far too long because New York is just crawling with bad guys, and so I have to have been here overnight please, thank you, and I need to get changed."

Molly Josephine Watson shut the door and rolled her eyes, and Peter grinned and ducked into the bathroom just down the hall. He re-emerged as Pepper Stark in all but heart, his binder and suit in the bag that he left at MJ's all the time for situations like these, swapped with a bra (ugh), a blue top and dark jeans. He shook his hair out and ran his fingers through it to style it more, and to make sure that it didn't look like it had been shoved under a mask for twelve plus hours.

MJ had found some food and settled on the couch in the living room, and Peter joined her there, grabbing the bottle of water she threw at him and drinking it thirstily. Just as he replaced the lid, his phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Pepper? Where are you?"

"I'm at MJ's. Where else would I be?"

"I don't believe you."

"Hey Mr Stark!" MJ shouted at the phone, and Peter smiled gratefully.

Tony Stark hummed into the phone, his voice flat, and Peter rolled his eyes, he switch the call to a video and waved at the camera.

"Hello, yes, just me and MJ, two girls sat watching…Tangled? MJ is this Tangled? Why are we watching Tangled again?"

On the phone, Tony looked slightly mollified, and he hung up without too much protestation. As soon as he was off the phone, Peter sighed and sagged into the couch. MJ looked over with a sympathetic frown, then turned the volume up on the TV.


End file.
